Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:18

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.  I will make him a help fit for him.”

Below are a few thoughts directed particularly to young men.

The greatness of the woman, and the longing that a man has for her, gives her tremendous power.  That may not be a bad thing, provided that a man knows the Word of the Lord, and desires Him and faithfulness to Him above all else.  If a man finds his completion in her first, and not in God, then he is sure to follow her rather than lead and guide her.  In other words his calling in life and in relationship to her depends upon his prior love for and allegiance to Christ.  And, perhaps even more profoundly, a knowledge that ultimately he is completed in Christ.  I suspect that the serpent knew this, which is why he approached Eve with the fruit, knowing that Adam would be far more likely to succumb to his wife than he would the suggestions of the serpent.  In other words, Adam could resist the serpent.  Could he resist Eve?  It is lamentable, but true, that some men who lay claim to Christ fear their wives more than they fear God. 

Your desire for your wife, and therefore your desire to please her, is a great gift, and will be the source of God-given joy.  But there will also be times when that desire will be a great temptation.  Both for your and for her.  For you in that the desire to please her may be stronger than a desire to please God.  And also a temptation for her.  A wife is not ignorant of the power she has in relationship to her husband, and it will be a temptation at times for her to use it to manipulate, steering her husband where she wishes him to go.  This is not to say that there will not be times when your wife speaks with wisdom, times when it is good and right to seek her counsel.  After all, there will be a need in you that she will fulfill, and that by God’s design.  She is God’s gift to you.  But your ability to serve her well as her head will depend upon settling it in your heart and mind that God comes before her, and that to love her well means that you must first love Him well. 

How, then, to walk into this before marriage?  Pursue, and learn to pursue, Christ intentionally, becoming increasingly aware that your life and identity comes from Him, and seeking to love Him more and more daily.  Seek his wisdom now, that you will already be the kind of man that walks in wisdom, and is therefore not easily picked off by the “wisdom” (Gen 3:1) of the serpent, whether it comes from him, or even perhaps through your wife. 

Adam would have loved Eve well by loving God first.  Needing to love God first, therefore, is not a pious platitude.  It is most practical, and a bulwark for marriage.